Chat with Ganpati

Me: Hey Dude!

Ganpati: Yo!

Me: Happy birthday bro! How are you? It’s been so long.

Ganpati: Thank you. I am great.

Me: I am so happy you are here!

Ganpati: Sure, you get two holidays, one each on my arrival and departure. You must be cranky that I am departing on a Sunday. So one holiday less.

Me: What! You’re going on a Sunday? Noooooo. Ahem. Anyway, I like you man. You are my favourite God.

Ganpati: And why is that?

Me: You know! You are the coolest. And, I am named after you.

Ganpati: I know that.

Me: So how do you feel to be back in Pune, the place where you were first celebrated?

Ganpati: Oh, I liked the old times better. People used to play songs only about me on the loudspeaker. I loved the attention. Who doesn’t, right! But then, these days you people play those crappy bollywood songs and dance like you’re drunk. It is pathetic. Not only because those songs try to steal my thunder, but also because you people can’t dance.

Me: Uhmm. Sorry about that. But there must be something you like about this?

Ganpati: The main intention of celebrating my birthday was to create unity among people back then. To bring people from all castes together as one, worshippers of me. Back in the day, I used to brag about this in Bramha Lok. But these days, everybody in Bramha Lok makes fun of me. Even the Universe Manager, Mr. Vishnu is not happy with me because you guys party hard on my birthday for 10 days causing pollution.

Me: So what do you think we should do?

Ganpati: See, first of all, you gotta use clay to make my idols. Not Plaster of Paris. You are just ruining the lakes and seas by dumping the Plaster of Paris idols in it. You guys got so commercialized and greedy that you forgot the purpose of celebrating my birthday. Tell me one thing, how would you feel if your friends plan a birthday party for you, and do everything that you hate?

Me: Oh boy, that would suck. Once, my friend took me to this horrible chinese restaurant and.. umm… I just got your point. Sorry!

Ganpati: And you HAVE to stop playing Honey Singh songs on loudspeakers. And not just on my birthday. On all public celebrations. And not just Honey Singh, all songs. And sometimes you guys put those speakers right under my nose and then leave. Why do you want to torture me?

Me: Sorry, we’ll try to keep it down.

Ganpati: See, I am not saying I don’t like anything about your way of celebrations. You guys seem to have fun, and I like that. But try not doing that at someone else’s expense, or worse, nature’s expense. Mr. Vishnu has had it up to here. (Assume that my hand is above my crown) and if Mr. Vishnu throws me out of Brahma Lok, I’ll have to go live with my dad in Kailash. And it is freaking freezing there. Even dad migrates south in Winter.

Me: You’re right. We never really think that the all day loudspeakers might be disturbing others. And the submerging of idols in lakes and river is polluting it. Also, the pendals should be erected in a place where it doesn’t disrupt the traffic.

Ganpati: So you do know what is wrong. Just try to remember the motive for which this was started – to get people together and talk about social issues. Not for dancing on loud music. You have pubs for that.

Me: You’re right, bro. Nice talking to you. Give my love to the Apsaras up there. Gotta go. Ciao.

Ganpati: Peace.

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